Another 'I told you so' moment
by screaminheathen69
Summary: A series of 'I told you so' moments. Originally a one shot, but my muse had other ideas.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Spike indulges in one of his favorite things; saying I told you so.

Characters: Dawn, Spike

Notes: Had this silly idea. Went ahead and wrote it down so's my muse would quit bouncing around inside my skull.

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Ain't makin' any money on it. Be sweet if I did own it though. Ohhhh, the things I'd do...

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ANOTHER 'I TOLD YOU SO' MOMENT

By: screaminheathen69

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"No, Spike, you are _not _gonna answer the door like that!" Dawn had on her best Resolve Face. It was really quite good. She'd learned from the master.

"Aww, c,mon Nibblet. Just this once. It'll be fun. I promise!" Spike had his game face on, making the huge grin he was sporting somewhat sinister. The sound of footsteps could be heard coming up the sidewalk.

"No. You'll scare 'em off."

"Will not."

"Will too."

"Will not."

"Will too!"

"Will not!"

"Will... Oh good grief! Fine. Go ahead. But when this blows up in your face, that laughing sound you'll hear? That'll be me." Dawn backed off, arms crossed, eyebrow quirked. She knew she was right. Stupid vampire.

Spike, grinning even wider, swung the door open just as the first knock sounded. ""Ello then! What 'ave we here?"

The group of trick-or-treaters standing on the porch stood there, stock-still, staring wide-eyed at Spike's vampiric visage. Finally, the seven year old standing in front spoke up.

"_Cool_!"

The rest of them started clamoring their approval of Spike's 'costume', and several of the adults chaperoning the kids commented on how realistic he looked as well.

Spike doled out the candy by the handfull, chit-chatting with the kids and making little growling noises, much to their approval. As the trick-or-treaters made their way to the next house, Spike turned to face Dawn, grinning what was quite possibly the smuggest grin he'd ever grinned in all his years of grinning smugly.

"Toldja so."

* * *

_'To thee no star be dark...'_


	2. Chapter 2

Summary: It's Dawn's turn to say I told you so.

Notes: I decided that I'd try to turn this 'I told you so' thing into a series. The additions will probably somewhat intermittent, but what the heck, this could be fun... Oh, and Dawn would be about twenty in this fic. All Hail the Goddess Willow!

Disclaimer: I shall condense the legalese to something slightly more understandable by us non-lawyer-y types: I don't own it, I'm just borrowing it, I ain't making any money from it, etc., etc. I shall now go look at my bank book and sob quietly...

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YET ANOTHER 'I TOLD YOU SO' MOMENT

By screaminheathen69

* * *

It was February in Cleveland. Complete with three feet of snow and a bitterly cold wind blowing in off Lake Erie. Which means that anybody with any sense at all is bundled up inside all warm and cozy. 

Which made the sight of the blonde man standing on the front porch puffing away on a cigarette seem all together odd.

That and his lack of a coat.

Or gloves.

Or a hat.

Or anything else to keep warm.

Of course, Angel has long held that Spike didn't have a lick of sense, the fact that cold doesn't have much of an effect on vampires notwithstanding.

Standing just inside the door, Dawn and Buffy were doing what sisters do best. Giving each other grief.

"I thought you were trying to get him to quit," said Buffy, goading her sister as she had many times over the last couple of years.

"I am. And I will." Dawn crossed her arms and put on her best 'resolve face'. She knew she could. Didn't doubt it for a second. Never mind the fact that in the two years she and Spike had been dating, she hadn't quite been able to pull off that particular little miracle .

Buffy snorted. "Yeah. Right. And pigs will fly. And monkeys will fly out of my butt. And..."

"Pigs did fly. Last summer, remember?" And what a weird summer _that_ was, let me tell you...

"... oh... yeah. Hasn't been any flying-butt-monkey-age though, has there?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

"Good. Besides, _sooooo_ not the point. You've been all couply with him for two years now, and try as you might, you haven't been able to get him to quit." Buffy shrugged, grinning smugly. "Guess I just don't see it happening."

Dawn stared out at her boyfriend for a minute. "Betcha I can."

"Huh?"

"Twenty bucks. I'll bet you twenty bucks that I can get him to quit tonight."

"Oh, this I hafta see. You're on." They shook on it. "Besides, I could use an extra twenty."

"Dream on." Dawn pulled her coat around her and trudged out to where Spike stood, still puffing away. "Spike, honey, I really need you to quit smoking."

Spike sighed theatrically. "Oh, c'mon luv. I came outside, didn't I? And haven't I given up all my old bad habits? Why do I hafta give up the only one I've got left?"

Dawn cast a glance over her shoulder at Buffy, who was still wearing the smug grin. "Made a bet with Buffy. You wouldn't want me to lose, would you?"

"S'pose not." He gave her a thoughtful stare. "What's in it for me, then?"

Dawn smirked, leaned in close, and started whispering in his ear. At length. The vampire's face went through an amazing succession of expressions as his eyes grew wide and a grin slowly spread over his countenance.

When she finished, he stared at her agog. "You mean that, pet? I mean, _all _of that?"

Dawn quirked an eyebrow, still smirking. "If you wanna find out, you know what you have to do." She turned and walked to the door, stopping just before going through and throwing a sizzling look back at Spike.

He stood there in a daze, then, shaking himself into motion, stubbed out his cigarette. He dug the pack out of his pocket and tossed it over his shoulder as he made a bee-line for his girlfriend.

As she was dragged past her sister by a maniacally grinning Spike, Dawn laughed and got in the last word. "Toldja so. Pay up."

* * *

_'To thee no star be dark...'_


	3. Chapter 3

Summary: Ummm... A double 'I told you so', but you'll just hafta read it to see what it's about. hehehe.

Notes: Yes, I have a dirty mind. But it's fun.

Disclaimer: Oh, would that they belonged to me. The fun we'd have...

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I TOLD YOU SO WITH A TWIST

By screaminheathen69

* * *

Xander had only been trying to help. Honest. He was just that kind of guy, right? It started innocently enough. He and Faith had been walking down the hall, Faith going on about Hope and Joy's latest escapade, Xander laughing up a storm, when it happened.

Xander heard a scream.

A high pitched scream, definitely female, certainly in agony. (Or so he thought.)

And, good guy that he is, he proceeded to kick in the door of the room that the scream was coming from, determined to aid the screaming girl within. Faith, with her sharper Slayer enhanced hearing being able to tell what was actually going on in said room with said screaming girl, tried to stop Xander, but no, he was in full Knight in Shining Armour mode, and was not about to be deterred from saving the damsel in distress.

He kicked open the door. He burst into the room-

-And froze in his tracks at the sight before him.

The sight of Dawn.

Straddling Spike.

A very naked Dawn. Sweating, head thrown back, screaming in orgasmic bliss, naked as the day she was born, Dawn.

And an equally naked Spike. Who was now staring at Xander, eyebrow quirked, supremely satisfied smirk firmly in place.

"There's this thing that some people do. Called 'knocking'. Considered polite in some circles. Might want to try it next time."

Xander was, believe it or not, speechless. Yes, _Xander._ He of the neverending sarcastic wit. Speechless. Oh, his mouth was moving. Lots. There just wasn't any sound coming out. He looked like a carp.

Faith, on the other hand, had one hand over her mouth, trying to stifle her laughter. She was pretty sure that the look on Xander's face might just be the funniest damn thing she'd ever seen in her whole life. She was fervently wishing for a camera. Her snorts were threatening to turn into hiccups.

Dawn, finally noticing that she and her boyfriend were no longer alone, let out a high pitched 'EEP!' and dove off the bed.

Which gave Xander an even better view of ... well, certain, um, assets. He slapped his hands over his bulging eyes and stumbled backwards into the hallway. Dull thuds could be heard shortly thereafter. Xander, the poor boy, was thumping his head against the wall, repeating "I did _not _need to see that, I did _not_ need to see that" over and over again.

Faith, her laughter under control (more or less), said "Dude, I _told_ you not to go in there..."

Spike, who had popped his head into the hall to see what was making the _thud _noise, looked back over his shoulder at Dawn, who was frantically pulling the sheets (and the blankets, and her duster, and every _other_ damn thing she could reach) around her. "And I told _you_ we needed to see about sound-proofing this room. But, _nooooo_, you wouldn't listen to me. 'It'll be fine', you said. 'Nobody'll notice', you said. Over a hundred years experience, but do you listen to me?_ Noooooo_..."

Faith, by now helpless with laughter, collapsed into a heap on the floor as the door closed, cutting off Dawn's retort.

Xander went right on beating his head against the wall.

"...I did _not _need to see that, I did _not_ need to see that..."

* * *

Questions? Comments?

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_'To thee no star be dark...'_


	4. The Dark Avenger

Summary: Angel gets a bit of a surprise.

Notes: Watched a rerun of 'Eternity' the other day, had this silly idea.

Disclaimer: All belongs to the Master Joss. I'm just borrowin' it for a bit...

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THE DARK AVENGER

By screaminheathen69

* * *

It was one of those incredibly rare occasions.

A slow night. An actual, factual, honest to God slow night. Nothing going on, no apocalypse, no demon uprisings, no prophecies to sort out. Nothing. Nada. Zip.

Our heroes didn't quite know what to do with themselves.

Well, most of 'em anyway. Dawn and Spike, on the other hand, decided it was time to spring a little surprise they'd been saving. So, they suggested having a movie night. Most of the crew thought that sounded like a good idea. (Lot's of shrugs and why-not's, for the most part.) So the popcorn was popped, snacks were acquired, drinks were poured and comfy viewing positions were found. (Or wrestled over. By Buffy and Faith. Faith won.)

As Dawn put in the DVD, Buffy (who was throwing popcorn at the back of Faith's head) asked "So, what're we watching, anyway?"

"Oh, just a little something Spike and I stumbled across," Dawn answered, somehow keeping the smirk from her face. Spike was smirking enough for both of them.

"Oh, God, it's not porn, is it?" Buffy asked, eyes huge. Dawn just shot her a dirty look and hit play.

The title came up in blood red letters: THE DARK AVENGER. As the opening credits started rolling, Angel's eyebrow went up. "Rebecca Lowell is in this?"

Dawn, still fighting the smirk, nodded. "Yup. Why?"

Angel tried to look non-chalant. It came off more constipated-ish. "Nothing. Met her once, that's all."

"Oh, yeah. Tried to kill her too, right?" Dawn asked, all innocence.

"That wasn't my fault!" Dawn just waved a hand dismissively and nodded towards the screen. Angel sat back in a huff. Nina, who was in on the joke, did her best to hide her grin.

The first scene opened up on a woman running screaming down a dark alley, then hiding behind a dumpster. Moments later, the dumpster was shoved aside, and her pursuer, obviously a vampire, grabbed her. After rattling off a few lame lines, the vamp went for her neck.

Just then, a dark figure in a billowing coat dropped down from the roof, grabbed the vampire and threw him across the alley. After a heated, but short, battle, the dark figure produced a stake and dusted the vampire.

The woman, amazed that she wasn't dead, staggered over to the mysterious figure. "Thank you! I thought I was dead! What _was_ that thing anyway?"

Her savior sighed, then turned around to face her. (This would be about the time that Angel's eyebrows tried to climb somewhere above his hairline.) "That was a vampire," said the stranger, now revealed to be Rebecca Lowell. "You should go home. Stick to the well lit streets if you don't want this to happen again." She nodded at the pile of dust at her feet.

As she turned to go, the woman caught her arm. "Wait. Who _are_ you?"

The stranger hesitated, then answered. "I'm Angel." She then leapt straight up, landing on the roof. With a last glance down at the stunned woman she'd just saved, she disappeared from sight.

By now, everybody in the room was staring at Angel. Angel, poor fellow, was completely shellshocked. In fact, he didn't utter a single word though the rest of the movie as he sat there and watched huge chunks of his life unravel on the screen. Right down to and including the Curse.

Spike caught Dawn's attention and mouthed "Toldja he'd be speechless". Dawn grinned happily and went back to watching Angel watch the movie. She wasn't sure which was the more entertaining.

Angel was still speechless as the end credits rolled. Right up until the bit that said 'Story Consultants: William Pratt and Dawn Summers', at which point he looked at the two in question and started saying "But... but... but... but..." while waving a hand vaguely at the screen.

Dawn laughed. "We heard that she was looking for info about you, so we decided to see what she was up to. Turns out she'd pitched this idea to some big-wig producer as part of her big comeback attempt. Next thing we knew, we were hired on as story consultants. They sent us an advance copy so we could check it out. They're releasing it this summer."

"Oughta be quite the blockbuster, don'tcha think?" Spike was giggling at the sight of Angel sitting there still going "But... but... but...".

Dawn nodded, huge toothy grin in place. "They're already talking trilogy!"

Angel finally got a grip. "Maybe I should pay her a little visit," he said, his voice dangerously low.

Nina was fighting back her laughter so hard she was snorting. "Why? _snurt_ You gonna _snort_ put the fear of God in her? _giggle_"

Angel kept his face carefully neutral. "Maybe."

Gunn, being careful not to let Angel see the huge grin he was wearing, shook his head. "Nah, I got a better idea."

"And that would be..."

"Sue her for royalties. Probably be worth millions."

Angel sat there for a long minute, then an evil grin spread slowly across his face. Several of the people in the room suddenly found themselves having 'Angelus' flashbacks. "Let's have some fun..."

* * *

Okay, I just _know _that somebody is gonna remind me that Cordy called Angel 'The Dark _Revenger_', but I just like _Avenger_ better.

So there.

_hehehe

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_

_'To thee no star be dark...'_


	5. What happens in Rio, stays in Rio Not

Summary: Willow gets a shock whilst at the video store. And, oh, what a shock it is...

Notes: Damn insomnia, anyway. This is the result of still being awake a three in the frackin' AM and watching those idiotic commercials they run at that hour. Did make me chuckle, though. Hope it has the same effect on you. All Hail the Goddess Willow!

Disclaimer: Theirs, not mine. Ain't makin' any money. More's the pity.

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WHAT HAPPENS IN RIO, STAYS IN RIO... NOT!

By screaminheathen69

* * *

Willow was wondering what the deal was. Ever since she'd walked into the video store, people kept staring at her and whispering to each other. It was commencing to get on her nerves. She'd just made up her mind to leave when two teenaged boys walked up to her. Sorta strutted up to her, actually. Okay, so they _thought _they were strutting. It was more of an exaggerated waddle, if ya really wanna know. Anyway...

"You're her, aren't you?" asked one, a somewhat pimply faced specimen, looking at her hopefully.

"Umm, her who?"

"_Her_. The one on the dvd."

"Dvd? What dvd? " Willow asked, looking somewhat perplexed.

"The one that just came out," said Pimply-Face's greasy haired buddy. "The one with you and that other girl, what's her name? Cathy? Katie?"

"No," piped up Pimply-Face. "Kennedy! Yeah, that was it, Kennedy. Man, you two were _hot_!" They both grinned. There was drool.

Willow grabbed them both by their collars. _"What dvd!"_

"Over here." Greasy-Hair led her over to the far wall and grabbed a box from the shelf. "This one."

Willow took the box.

Willow read the box.

Willow's eyes bugged out and she started making funny little choking sounds.

Willow was out the door like a shot, her face very nearly the same color as her hair.

"Man, she's even hotter in person," said Pimply-Face. Greasy-Hair just nodded and wiped away the drool.

Willow was three blocks away before she realised that she'd just left without paying for the dvd she was still holding. She decided she didn't care. As she ran, she called Kennedy through the Wiccan Mind-Meld and told her to meet her in their room, A.S.A.P.

_Oh, Goddess, how drunk _were_ we?_

By the time she got back to the hotel, Kennedy was waiting for her. "What's the what, Red? You sounded upset."

Willow, gasping for breath, just nodded and thrust the dvd at Kennedy.

Kennedy's eyes bugged out and she started making funny little choking sounds. Eventually she found her voice. "Holy crap! How drunk _were _we?" She stared down at the box, wide eyed, not quite believing what she was seeing.

**GIRLS GONE WILD **

**THE RIO EDITION**

Beneath the title, there they were. And how. Standing in front of a crowded bar, kissing, topless, nearly bottomless, with the words HOTTEST EVER strategically covering up the naughty bits.

Willow slumped to the floor, still trying to catch her breath. "Damn tequila. I _told_ you we shouldn't have had those last eight shots!"

* * *

Questions, comments?

_'To thee no star be dark...'_


	6. I told you so, ComicCon style

Notes: Been a long time, but this one popped up and wouldn't go away.

Disclaimer: Still waiting for someone to come up with a disclaimer song…

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I TOLD YOU SO, COMIC-CON STYLE

By screaminheathen69

* * *

Just the other day, Buffy had thought to herself _'My life couldn't possibly get any stranger'._

She really should've known better.

Case in point: They'd tracked a rogue vengeance demon to the San Diego Comic-Con. Now, can you imagine the kinds of chaos a vengeance demon could cause in an environment like that? Uh-huh. Yeah. Now ramp it up by about a million, and you might have some idea.

And the demon wasn't even doing the vengeance thing. No, it was granting wishes at random, partly to keep his pursuers off his trail, partly just for the sheer joy of it. There were fictional characters popping up all over the place. There were at least a half dozen versions of Wonder Woman walking around.

Willow had had the pleasure of fighting off a group of angry Klingons with the aid of Hermione Grainger. Dawn and Spike fought alongside the Master Chief from HALO. Faith, Duke Nukem and River Tam took on thirty odd Reavers. And won.

Buffy and Luke Skywalker took on a mixed group of Predators and Aliens. (After, she went to Willow and Andrew to see if they could come up with a functional light-saber for her. She _really _wanted one.)

So, strangeness all around. Although, Buffy did have to admit, being serenaded by Kermit the Frog was kinda cool. (She'd had _such _a crush on Kermie when she was eight.) She could've done without Miss Piggy attacking her, mind you. For a stuffed pig, Piggy could _kick._

She didn't even want to think about the fight with the Pokemon critters. That was just _weird._

And then there was now: The whole group was standing outside the convention center, staring up, slack-jawed. "Oh, come on! _Seriously?_" Buffy was incredulous.

Her incredulity was certainly well founded. You'd be standing there slack-jawed too if Godzilla suddenly came stomping through town. And we're talking the real Godzilla here, not the wannabe from the Matthew Broderick flick. The genuine, honest to God, four-hundred foot tall bad tempered beastie, complete with thermo-nuclear death-breath.

The Godzilla who was being strafed by a flight of X-wings, sporting Rogue Squadron colors no less.

At the sound of a dull thud behind them, Buffy, Dawn, Willow, Spike and Faith turned around only to see Andrew lying passed out on the sidewalk.

Dawn quirked an eyebrow. "I think Andrew just nerd-gasmed himself unconscious."

Spike shook his head and turned back to watch the fire fight. "I told you we shouldn't have let him come to Comic-Con. Oh, look, there's Mothra!" Sure enough, there was Mothra, doing the shiny dust thing to Godzilla.

The _Millenium Falcon _swooped in past Mothra and unloaded a pair of concussion missiles into Godzilla's flank, followed by a squadron of Vipers blasting away with their lasers. (The Vipers from the original Battlestar Galactica in '78, not the newer series.)

Buffy sighed. _My life can't _possibly _get any stranger._

"Holy crap! Isn't that the X-Men?"

She really should've known better.

* * *

'_To thee no star be dark…'_


End file.
